KK B'Day in FLA

Not much going on today as I turn 33 here in sunny Florida. Of course, today being my birthday is overcast and nasty looking but it's a work day anyway so no biggie. No plans for the night, but I'll hit it hard on Friday.

Gonna go to Giuseppe's Steel City Pizza in Port Orange Friday night to watch the Steelers take on the Eagles. Giuseppe's is a cool place and the owner is from western Pennsylvania. It's got a lot of flavor, and the food ain't bad either. I definitely recommend it to any Floridians.

All else is well as we inch closer to football season. Of course, it's almost September and the Pirates still haven't even won 50 games. Who cares? It's not even worth discussing.

Here's a picture of Biskit. She turned 3 months old August 20. She's a lot of fun, but potty training is still underway. I'd set progress at about 88%. That's all for now.

Biskit the Dog Comes to Florida

Been a long time since my last blog entry, but we're back. And yes there is a we. Biskit the baby Apricot/Fawn Pug came into my life yesterday. I got her from a wonderful breeder in Dunellon, Fla., Mrs. Pat Japart. Biskit was born May 20, 2006.

You can see her web site here.

She was given a clean bill of health today after a veterinary appointment here in New Smyrna Beach. Everyone loves her and she is adorable, despite numerous shits and squirts about the house.

Life is great so far after almost one month in the Sunshine State. I just moved into my new apartment (2 bedrooms, 1000 sq. ft) on Saturday. See it here.

NOTE: Click communities, then Lyme Stone Ranch.

Some amenities:
Sun drenched pool
Heated Spa
24-hour fitness center
Business center
Laundry care center
Car care center

Biskit and I live 5 miles from the Atlantic Ocean so we're beach bums. That rules! That's all for now, but rest assured we'll be back. We're a mile off I-95 so stop and visit.

Iratefans Make the Paper; Combat Counterfeiters

So, we're big now. Read this:
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/06179/701647-63.stm

But, as is the case with any good idea, thieves rush in:

Bogus Iratefans.com Shirts Surface
PRESS RELEASE: June 29, 2006
CONTACT: Kraig A. Koelsch
KraigK36@gmail.com
(704) 608-9117

Imitated, but Never Duplicated

Various reports are surfacing from Pittsburgh that area opportunist vendors are trying to cash in on the iratefans.com brand. "It's not a bit surprising. When people see a good thing, they all want a part of it," said iratefans co-founder Kraig Koelsch.

The bogus shirts say Irate Fan, rather than the plural fans. One loyal iratefans supporter discussed the shirt with the vendor who quickly moved on. Also, the P on the shirt's front has fallen to halfway between IRATE and FAN, but is still upright and lacks the "tracer marks" of a genuine iratefans t-shirt. The skull with the crossbones has baseball stitching, but lacks the lower jaw. The upper bones are shadowed against baseball bats.

"True fans that became aware of who we are and what we stand for won't fall for this weak imitation. Thanks for the flattery, but there's a big difference between driving a Mercedes and bouncing in a Mitsubishi," he added. To ensure you have an official shirt, make sure you get it from the iratefans e-bay store.
http://stores.ebay.com/iratefans

-30-

Breaking News From the Breadline: KK Gets Job!

Yes, it's true. Team KK saved himself from the storied and popular breadline. I've accepted a new position as ESPN Project Manager at XOS Technologies, Inc. in 'Fred G.' Sanford, Florida. I'm really excited to start a new career path and XOS is just beginning to blow up. I think it's a great fit for both myself and the company. My first day is July 17 and I'll be in corporate housing for the first month so I have no address as of yet. My phone number remains the same if you need to reach me. Here is the product I'll manage. And now, the former breadline countdown has changed to the goldmine countdown.

Iratefans Gaining Steam

Well, we've reached some serious eyes and ears and now have a few new editions to our cause. I submitted our plight to Deadspin and they loved it. Also, Baseball Prospectus was kind enough to make reference to our McClatchy Line term, which, for those who don't know, means .a .500 record in Major League Baseball.

And today, I appeared on AOL's Sports Bloggers Live to trumpet iratefans.com. The report will be online and available at 5 p.m. June 15 at the above link. Ironically, I was sandwiched in a three-guest lineup that included #1 Drew Carey, #2 KK and #3 Lucas Black, Star of Fast & Furious and QB in Friday Night Lights.

Those mentions, along with our appearence on WPXI-TV Channel 11 and the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette mean our cause is at least a valid one that people have interest in. And that is our goal. Expose these bums and get some change.

Keep it going gentlemen. Visit Iratefans.com!

Iratefans Unite!

The first gathering of Iratefans gathered Saturday to watch the Pirates take on the Padres. We survived a nasty lightning storm and saw the Bucs beat the Padres 6-4.

The group consisted of about 12 fans (a few didn't come into the game).

The minute we put our shirts on, the looks started. We were hanging out on the street at Firewaters North Shore Saloon & BBQ. We actually had a few people walk up to us and buy shirts, even though none were technically for sale.

Everyone who commented loved the idea. The owner of Firewaters, Jeffrey Joyce, was very receptive to our cause and welcomed our group. Jeff also offered a room for our next get together and some food at a good price. Thus, Firewaters is now the official bar of the Iratefans.

As we waited for WPXI to film us, everyone got a chance to meet each other. Many were acquainted via OnlyBucs.net, but had never met in person.

As soon as WPXI came, we got even more looks and smiles as we were being filmed. As I entered the stadium, numerous double takes and comments were often heard.

In a nutshell, the cause is off and running and the news on the street is very good.

So get your shirt now and join the cause. We'll be planning Game no. 2 very soon.

-Kraig A. Koelsch

Congrats to my Brother Khris

Congrats are in order for my kid brother Khris. Here is the story:

Sharp first grade teacher Barbara Phillips and Middle School special education teacher Kris Koelsch, pictured here with Superintendent of Schools James Bathurst were honored as teachers of the year for 2005-2006 at Collingswood Public Schools in New Jersey.

A funny note, the nice copy editor didn't even bother to spell the kid's name right. It's Khris you dumbass! Oh well, major props for what he goes through every day. How bout that picture? They need to learn the term Photoshop. Perhaps Khris's pal Doug 'Fat Ass, Smashmouth, Dr. Teeth' Graham could give them an assist there. However, I believe he ate his copy of Photoshop.

Anyway, Bravo Khris. I owe you a beer. Get it soon though, the breadline cometh: 27 work days!

Do a Dance of Joy

OK, so I've never been good at math, but the breadline calculation has been incorrect. What's that all mean? Tell 'em Johnny........

That's right, KK and crew get to pound salt for 4 more worthless days in their extremely deadended job. Yes, that's right, the count is back up to 32 days til the line of pigs, scum, filth and bums.

I'll have extra cheese if anyone needs some. Just let me know.

Now, who knows where I can find some cheap beer post June 30? Bud Light preferred.

I'm Just Poundin' Salt in a Dead-Ender

Oh I'm just pounding salt in a dead-ender, a dead-ender, a dead-ender.

I'm just pounding salt in a dead-ender, a dead-ender today.

A dead-ender to stay.

Catchy little stupid ass tune isn't it? Well, 30 days til the breadline for us and the weather sucks, my back hurts and I have a cold. Only one thing left to do then this weekend, get drunk. Moving out of my apartment next weekend so I have to finish packing this weekend as well. That is always such a joy. Oh well, I will soon be amongst the masses of filth collecting unemployment and waking up at noon every day. Anyone know where you can golf cheap? And finally, kudos to Joe White, newest member of our softball team. Not known for his defensive prowess, Big Joe actually brought the wrong glove into the field. Maybe that's why two balls sailed by him with not so much as a wave. But, he does have a big bat. Joe, our new EH.

Breadline Countdown = 36 Work Days

Oh the joy of pounding salt in a deadend job. So I figured it was time to update my blog. People working from home, people with a sick dog, I keep eating and drinking like a hog. The breadline is coming, coming very fast, I sure wish the workload I have now would last. Oh well, we move along anyway.

KK Survives Drunk Dave Weekend Scare

Well, the whirlwind known as Drunk Dave came and went, but naturally, not without incident. Drunk Dave, Mike Boyers and myself went to Coach's to watch the NFL Draft. The Steelers had a great draft and an even better first round trade landed us Santonio Holmes, the best WR in the draft.

It was all smooth sailing from there, until Drunk Dave started doing shots. He was constantly bitching about the Columbus smoking ban and had to go out to the smoker's porch. While there, he got into numerous spats with guys 10+ years younger than him. In the end, Mike and I had to get him outta there and he was almost jumped by 5 guys staring him down as he stumbled across the parking lot. We finished the draft at BW3 and then went home. Drunk Dave 'blacked out' at this point and naturally remembers nothing. His famous motto of "If you don't remember, it didn't happen" comes into play here. He was loud, obnoxious, foul and a little destructive at my house, but Amy (his girlfriend) and myself refused to go out with him. So, he drank all my beer and eventually passed out around 4 a.m. And this ends another story in the 37-year-old life of Drunk Dave.

Break it on Down!

Softball starts Tuesday and we have practice tonight. Boy am I out of shape. Thank God I am a gifted hitter. :-)

Drunk Dave countdown = 1 day.
Breadline countdown = 41 work days.

Drunk Dave is an old ass bitch for those who have not had the privilege of meeting him.

Is that him dancing?

At least tomorrow is pay day.

LOOK OUT: Drunk Dave Headed to Columbus

Look out Dublin, look out Columbus. The infamous Drunk Dave is headed to town.

The drunk and gal pal Amy 'Heh Heh Heh' Hentgen will be arrving late Friday night to my crib. Saturday is NFL Draft day so it will be a booze bash to remember. I am frightened already.

We, however, won't have any of "the least you could do is buy us dinner bullshit." That act was pulled before and is very tiresome. That said, I still love Drunk Dave (in a non-faggot way---per Bubba The Love Sponge) and look forward to the visit. Plus, the Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers will be getting a top player to further their charge.

YES!!!!!

Meet the Beetlejuice Family

OK, you gotta love the Stern Fan Network. Great web site for diehard Howard Stern fans like myself. (my handle is TubeBar)

Where else could you find a link to such a wonderful video in which you meet Beet's mother and sister Erika?

Everyone loves Beetlejuice. His official Web site can be found here.

Again, here is the video.

Finally: Cindy Margolis MILF Exposed

Some have said she's too old, BS I say. I look forward to seeing even more of her beauty. She's had three kids for God's sake. You go girl.

From AP article
Cindy Margolis, known as the "Most Downloaded Woman" on the Internet, is following up her win on "Celebrity Cooking Showdown" with a career first — posing nude for Playboy.The mother of three told The Associated Press that she finally agreed to pose for the magazine when they called on her 40th birthday.

Now That's a Buckeye I Like

Finally, after almost two years, I met a Buckeyes fan in Columbus that I like. And I mean really like. You gotta check out this video. This chick is smokin'. Now I need to go downtown and find her.

Here is the link again to make sure you FOUND IT.

The Salt Mine Saga Continues

The countdown is ticking and the salt is still being pounded by the grunts here at work. We have 46 days til we hit the breadline. I'm pretty bored, but am still doing my job and all that is required. That said, I'm glad the end is near. A fresh start is always good. After all, nobody likes pounding salt in a deadend job. Where the hell is Drunk Dave? Probably getting all boozed up. The lush says he's coming for a visit on NFL Draft weekend, but I won't hold my breath. Plus, it's expensive when he comes as my paying the tab is the "least I can do."

We Brought Home a Winner!

Went to the Pirates vs. Cubs game Saturday night and saw a solid performance. Yes, the shitful Pirates pitching (Zach Duke) finally stepped up in a 2-1 win. My brother (Khris, pictured left) and sister-in-law Stephanie joined me, as well as my friend Frank and a bunch of Khris's buddies. His pal Doug, aka Smashmouth, has more pics posted on his blog. Click on the April 17 entry. After the game, we got torn apart at the Polish Club and I slept til 1 p.m. Got up for an hour and had to nap as someone got too busted up. Sad. Well, I'm on the wagon...for now.

Home Opener Hell

Another year, another game, another shitty loss. The campaign 'We Will' basically is a real joke. We will lose again and again. It was a nice day, 66 degrees and I had a good time for the most part, but I can't stand this crap any more. This team is an utter embarassment.

My favorite quote came from Michael Keaton, who threw out the first pitch.

"I fear they will take advantage of the good will of the people who continue to show up," Keaton said of the Pirates. "For my money, that's disrespectful. At some point, you either have to write the check or do something and not assume, well, we're OK and, ultimately, the franchise is valuable, anyway, like Donald Sterling did with the Los Angeles Clippers."

I couldn't agree more. You go Batman!

Grizzly Sounds Off, 'Will You Sit on my Pizza?'

Enjoyed some Golden Tee Live the other day at J Linsey's with Beaker and LT and was treated to the rants of bar regular Bobby aka 'Bob Dylan' or 'Grizzly.' He's actually a very nice guy, but had a few in him as he pathetically hit on a pizza delivery girl. The young lady was asked to sit on his pizza on the next delivery and informed that marriage was like apples, as you never know when you might get a bad one.

Good times at an otherwise filthy place.