Checking In and Updating Biskit's Final Test Results

It's been awhile and lots have been asking so I thought I would write a blog to check in and also to report the final pathology results for Biskit, which I just received Sunday afternoon, December 22. It's been tough, I won't kid you. To have your best friend, your baby, go from being absolutely normal and herself to with God in heaven in just over three days is crippling. It has shaken me to the core, rattled my thoughts and tested my patience and faith. I do believe that Biskit is in a better place and that comforts me.

I haven't been going out much as I need to get all these damn bills paid. For those who didn't know, the week before Biskit got sick I was in the emergency room myself with an unknown and severe allergic reaction that had hives all over my body, my throat swelling shut. So, it's been a rough couple months since I returned to Florida, really rough. But where there is rough, there is often tough, and I'm doing my best to keep it all together.

I was able to rejoin my old softball team down here and hit well during the seven games I played. I was still rusty but it was fun. We'll be playing again in the 'Polar Bear' league which begins January 9. Looking forward to that as it keeps me busy and I was able to secure our old sponsor, Mulligan's, in Altamonte Springs, FL. It's a great place and the sponsor pays all of our fees.

I'm headed to Pittsburgh for the holidays and looking very forward to it. I have not been home in over a year because of my move and that my parents came to see me in Chicago instead. It will be great to be home.

I wanted to also say thanks again, to all of you. Family, friends, co-workers and just anyone who cared to check in, send me a note, card, etc. I have been touched on so many levels and it has given me peace at a time I really needed it.

Now for the final report on my sweet baby girl, Biskit. Here is the initial necopsy/final pathology report from the doctor:

Based on the gross and histological findings of the organs, the pathologists suspects that Biskit became septic (Bacteria in the blood along with severe inflammatory response) from an infection that ascended from her small intestine into her liver which caused the acute liver injury, this led to the acute liver injury, then as the infection became systemic she developed acute kidney injury due to the septic process and multi-organ failure. Very likely the infection was cleared by all the antibiotics she received and therefore the infectious agent was not recognized, but she died due to the severe inflammatory response and the multi-organ failure. Sepsis and multi-organ failure is one of the leading causes of death in human ICU’s and we struggle with it in the veterinary field. The reason for the ascending infection into her liver is likely multi-factorial, but likely due to an abnormal biliary system (chilangiohepatitis).
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I followed up with these questions:

1.) Is this the Pathology report or the Necropsy report? It says necropsy at top and submitted 11/5/2013. Maybe the reports are both combined into one?

It stated: We sent out a leptospirosis titer, which is a potential cause of her acute kidney injury, but the results are still pending. When we spoke in November you confirmed that it was NOT Leptospirosis.

2.) Just so I'm sure, I understand the DX of sepsis and multi-organ failure, but if I'm reading what you said correctly, whatever caused this was not and will never be identified, right?

3.) Last, is there anything in the findings that said how long this might have been occurring before it got bad? Could I have missed signs, things like that? Or is this something based on the findings that hit quick, hit hard and ultimately took my baby girl's life?
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Here is the doctor's response:

1. It is the necropsy report which identifies the pathology of the disease.  Both terms are referring to the same diagnostic procedure. Yeah the leptospirosis test was sent out at the time the necropsy was submitted 11/05/13, at that time the results were pending, as I said, the results were negative.

2. Correct no infectious agents were identified so the specific bug that caused the septic process would never be identified.

3. This is an acute process (few days), there is no way to specifically determine exactly how long before it got bad.

Unfortunately your baby girl was affected by a very severe disease process that affected the entire system and led to failure of multiple organs in a very short time. There is nothing you could have done to prevent this from happening.
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A few final thoughts from me and I will end this blog post. The report did shed some light on where this started, the small intestine. That was never known before. Also, the septic report was new. Obviously, I knew multiple organs were failing because I was with her every step of the way.

But what hurts most is I will never know when it happened or where it happened. What was this awful bug that killed my baby? Where can I find it as I would like to eradicate anything associated with it?

I have been beating myself up since this happened, trying to think of why, where, when, what and how, but that hasn't done much, other than degrade my health and cause extreme sleep deprivation. It is hard for me to fathom that I will never, ever know what took Biskit's life. At times I am very angry, depressed, bitter and feel downright blah but I also know better days are ahead and am doing all I can to stay focused, stay happy and keep enjoying my life.

In the end, those who knew me knew how well cared for Biskit was. She ate special dog food, expensive and grain-free treats and was rarely ever given any table scraps. I wouldn't change anything I did but if I could find out where or what the nasty bug was, I would have gladly eaten it for her to take that pain away. I love you Biskie and I always will.

An Open Letter to My Sweet Baby Girl

My dearest Biskit --

I cannot even begin to tell you how much I love you and how you changed my life forever, all for the good. You are such a sweet, good baby. From the moment I saw you on the Internet, I knew you were going to be my baby girl. You might not know this but you had a few sisters and brothers so when I came to see you for the first time, your 'breeder mommy Pat' asked if I thought I could pick you out. Guess what, she said I did without hesitation and I know I did because it was you!

The picture on the right is the first time I ever held you, kinda felt right, huh? Your sweet little left leg up on my shoulder and neck. You were born in Dunnellon, FL, which is near Ocala and Gainesville. More on the significance of that later.

I knew you were my baby girl instantly so I paid the deposit, and did my interview, I mean, just not any bozo deserves to be your daddy, and then I went on my way. The whole next week was like Christmas as I knew I was coming to get you that following Saturday. That was our first ride together and not the best that's for sure. You were not happy and cried, pooped and pee'd all the way to New Smyrna Beach, but that is where our love affair began. It was not easy to get you to go potty and especially not in the right place! But with some persistence and love, you broke the household accidents and turned into the best little girl who could run free around the house and usually, just enjoy doing it. Every now and then a toy might get mangled or some paper chewed up but hey, that's what dogs do! And rides, boy did we love to 'go for the ride' or 'go for the walk.' I always smiled as you listened to every word, tilting your head as the conversation went along.

You were there by my side when I bought my first house in New Smyrna Beach and were there for me when I had to leave it. I loved taking you to your favorite place in the world, Smyrna Dunes Park or as you knew it, 'the doggis beach'. We really had such a great time in New Smyrna and Florida in general. But, in early 2010, we had to change directions professionally.

You were there for me when I moved to Chicago, knowing nobody and you took it all in stride. I know you didn't like the snow or the cold and what Florida gal would? But you dealt with it like a good baby, just as you always were. Many a night I was missing friends and the like but as soon as I opened that door, seeing you fixed everything. It always did.

We had a good time in Chicago, too. Lord only knows we moved three (and a half) times. But the best for us was in Roscoe Village, close to your best buddies Todd and Kim and Taylor the dog. We had lots of fun with them but yes I know, Biskie wants to go to the dogiss bar!

And boy did we have fun there, the Four Treys Tavern became a family for us and Biskie, you were the star of the show. You were the sweet baby girl pug that 'just sits in that bar stool and behaved' or 'sang to the crew in your high-pitch voice.'

I can't tell you how many times people asked to pet you or said that dog is just so well behaved, she just looks and looks at you, Kraig. Biskit, nothing made me happier than the love I felt from you as you did look at me no matter where we were or what we were doing. Your eyes warmed my heart and let me assure you, the hearts of so many others who loved you so dearly.

Our dear friend Brad Spry was in town for Thanksgiving in 2007 and he took this picture. Do you know where it was taken baby? That's right, the dogiss beach!

It's quite ironic as the message was meant for Thanksgiving but when I see it now, it makes me think of you and you saying thank you to me. Oh dear baby, it is me who will be doing the thanking. Thank you for loving me unconditionally, thank you for being such a good girl and thank you for allowing me to be your daddy.


Being your daddy is the single greatest achievement I have ever accomplished. As you know, daddy got a new job and it was time for us to return to Florida in October 2013. After all, we never wanted to leave in the first place but we did what we had to do as a team.

I was so excited to take you to the dogiss beach and you were happy to return, and we had Dad along so that made it all the better. You and I plus Dad set the apartment up and went for lots of walks and rides, which I know were your favorite.

So here we were back in Florida, back in your home baby. I will never understand what made you sick last Friday but I knew something was wrong, so I initially tried to be a good daddy and make you comfortable.

So I wrapped you in this blanket and hoped that you could rest and feel better. But daddy knew better and knew his baby girl was not feeling right. So we got to 'go for ride' to the Emergency Vet Hospital in Casselberry. You were a good girl and hopped right up in the car and away we went.

I thank God that we did go as you were a sick, sweet little girl. I received word very early Sunday morning that you needed to go to Gainesville, to the University of Florida Veterinary Hospital. I jumped in the car at 3:15 a.m., came to get you and we had our last ride together up to Gainesville. I treasure that ride Biskit but I know you were so sick. That didn't stop you from looking at me though and I tried my very hardest to comfort you while driving as fast as the law allowed (yeah, I know that one stop light about threw us both in the dash...sorry about that.) You didn't seem pleased. :-)

Biskie, I know you already know, but this hospital is the best in the state and I wouldn't settle for less, not even a little bit. I was so fortunate that I was able to visit you a few times over the next two days.

Now comes the hard part my sweet, beautiful girl. I got the reports, I saw the test results, I heard the news and most importantly, I saw you. I saw my baby in excruciating pain, bleeding, and with your liver and kidneys failing you. I saw your face and how much stress and pain you were in but you still always looked into my eyes, even as you struggled to take each breath. And that last time I saw you, I knew that as your daddy, I had made the right decision to help you. Biskit my love, I sure hope you understand why I did what I did. The best of the best were by my side and they helped daddy make Biskie feel better. My goal as your daddy was to always make you feel better.
I wouldn't have been anywhere else than by your side, looking into those beautiful eyes as daddy and the doctor did make Biskie feel better. Please understand that I did this out of unconditional love, I know you do baby girl, I know you do.

I could write a thousand pages about my love for you and it wouldn't do you justice. But I did want you to know that I do know how much you loved me, I know how much you followed me and I know how much you basically worshipped the ground I walked on. Let me tell you, it was a pleasure.

I find it both ironic and a bit comforting that you passed away not far at all from the little town of Dunnellon, where I got you back in August 2006. I think God may have wanted you to come home to him sweet girl but before he brought you, he needed you to go home one last time. I'll never understand why you were taken from me so soon, but it won't stop me from cherishing all the great years we had together.

So my dear sweet baby girl, I will end this letter to you with one last affirmation. Biskit Koelsch, I love you with all of my heart, all of my soul, all of my mind and all that I am. You were the best little girl your daddy could ever have and I am so proud of you for being my girl. You were a good girl, a tough girl and a strong girl every day of your life but most of all, you were a fun girl who changed most people that ever met you. The picture to my right is my favorite picture ever taken of us. Dad took it when Mom and Dad joined us for a walk in Florida one day.


Biskie, don't think for a minute that we won't be reunited someday again, and boy, I will join you in that full sprint until you are again in my arms. But I know God is with you and many others that will watch over you until I get there. I know now you'll watch over me and that gives me great comfort.

You know I don't like the word goodbye so I will most definitely see you soon Biskit. You will forever have my heart, my soul and all that I am. Thank you for being such a good baby and loving me, you are the best thing I ever called my own.

Love you always and forever my sweet baby girl,

Daddy

In loving memory of Biskit Koelsch - Born May 11, 2006, Passed Away November 4, 2013

Weight Loss, Snowstorms and Sports Minutia

Well the results are in and while I fell slightly short of my goal (yes, I'm aggressive), I'm pleased to report that I've lost 13.7 lbs on Day 30 of my diet.

It's been a battle and one that will continue but I'm winning and I'm not looking back. My initial goal of 50 lbs is well within reach and I'm going to get that in the short term. I've actually been pleasantly surprised with the whole Nutrisystem plan and the food is actually pretty good. Some things are obviously better than others but I'm pleased.

Its taught me a lot and I feel better. That's the big reason I'm doing this. Yes, there will be cheat days and I look forward to my beers (back on Michelob Ultra) but this lifestyle change is one that's needed and worth it. One major change is the exercise regimen I've started. It's certainly not going to revolutionize fitness but it has done the following:

1.) Made me feel better
2.) Made me look better
3.) Changed how I view cheating and drinking beer
4.) Become addictive

I really enjoy going and that itself amazes me. OK, enough of the diet stuff as most of you have probably quit reading. We're getting hit pretty good with a snowstorm today here in Chicago. With areas total already in the 2 to 7 inch range that puts the potential final snow totals for this storm in the 5-12 inches range. By far the biggest of the year. So much for spring.

I'm really looking forward to March Madness this year and that always helps ease back into spring. I think PITT can make a Sweet 16 run or possibly a step further. It all depends on their perimeter scoring. Speaking of scoring, nobody is doing it better than my Pittsburgh Penguins. Only problem is, their defense is a porous sieve. They need to fix that fast or they won't be able to challenge for a Stanley Cup that is well within reach. And while we're on hockey, how can you not notice the hometown Chicago Blackhawks? That's a pretty damn impressive and insane start.

I'll wrap this with a few predictions about baseball. Look for the Pittsburgh Pirates to regress this year, falling to a record of 70-92. Management did nothing to address its anemic offense and a pitching staff that overachieved will return to earth. I am going on record to say that James McDonald will once again be removed from the starting rotation and that Aj Burnett will see his era rise to his career norm or worse (4.05).

I certainly hope I'm wrong but I have 20 years of futility on my side. Well, that's all for now so farwell, stay low and keep wheeling.

What the heck is going on?

It's certainly been too long but the World of KK is back and I'm in the blogging mood. I kept the blog title PC as I truly am going through somewhat of a transformation.

It's early and I'm only eight days into it but I've lost 6.9 pounds thus far eating better and following the Nutrisystem diet plan. My goal is to lose 50 pounds and keep it off. I am on the initial 28-day plan and have cut alcohol and pop out of my diet. Those of you who know me well know that I love my Ginger Ale and Bud Light so it's a big give up. But, those of you who know me also know that I'm not a quitter.

I'm not saying I'll make my goal or even close. What I am saying is I'm tired of feeling shitty and am doing something about it. If nothing else, this diet plan is helping educate me to a healthy and more balanced diet. That means more meals, but smaller portions. Sounds simple but a fat, single guy like me was so used to skipping breakfast and gorging at lunch. Then, eat whatever I damn well pleased at dinner.

There will be cheat days and I will MOST DEFINITELY see you at the bar but you're going to see less of me. That's not a promise or a goal, that's a fact.

Kraig Koelsch

p.s. I included this picture of my latest grocery trip to motivate myself and maybe some others. I literally couldn't believe what I had bought but when the worst things is low-fat/sodium cheese, I'd say that's a hell of a progression.

p.s.s. Winter can feel free to end at any point now. I am starting to think I've had my fill of it again. Biskit certainly has. What's next? Stay tuned.

p.s.s.s. Is there even such a thing as p.s.s.s.? Well who cares. Anyway, F the Ravens and Let's Go Pens!