Congrats to my Brother Khris

Congrats are in order for my kid brother Khris. Here is the story:

Sharp first grade teacher Barbara Phillips and Middle School special education teacher Kris Koelsch, pictured here with Superintendent of Schools James Bathurst were honored as teachers of the year for 2005-2006 at Collingswood Public Schools in New Jersey.

A funny note, the nice copy editor didn't even bother to spell the kid's name right. It's Khris you dumbass! Oh well, major props for what he goes through every day. How bout that picture? They need to learn the term Photoshop. Perhaps Khris's pal Doug 'Fat Ass, Smashmouth, Dr. Teeth' Graham could give them an assist there. However, I believe he ate his copy of Photoshop.

Anyway, Bravo Khris. I owe you a beer. Get it soon though, the breadline cometh: 27 work days!

Do a Dance of Joy

OK, so I've never been good at math, but the breadline calculation has been incorrect. What's that all mean? Tell 'em Johnny........

That's right, KK and crew get to pound salt for 4 more worthless days in their extremely deadended job. Yes, that's right, the count is back up to 32 days til the line of pigs, scum, filth and bums.

I'll have extra cheese if anyone needs some. Just let me know.

Now, who knows where I can find some cheap beer post June 30? Bud Light preferred.

I'm Just Poundin' Salt in a Dead-Ender

Oh I'm just pounding salt in a dead-ender, a dead-ender, a dead-ender.

I'm just pounding salt in a dead-ender, a dead-ender today.

A dead-ender to stay.

Catchy little stupid ass tune isn't it? Well, 30 days til the breadline for us and the weather sucks, my back hurts and I have a cold. Only one thing left to do then this weekend, get drunk. Moving out of my apartment next weekend so I have to finish packing this weekend as well. That is always such a joy. Oh well, I will soon be amongst the masses of filth collecting unemployment and waking up at noon every day. Anyone know where you can golf cheap? And finally, kudos to Joe White, newest member of our softball team. Not known for his defensive prowess, Big Joe actually brought the wrong glove into the field. Maybe that's why two balls sailed by him with not so much as a wave. But, he does have a big bat. Joe, our new EH.

Breadline Countdown = 36 Work Days

Oh the joy of pounding salt in a deadend job. So I figured it was time to update my blog. People working from home, people with a sick dog, I keep eating and drinking like a hog. The breadline is coming, coming very fast, I sure wish the workload I have now would last. Oh well, we move along anyway.

KK Survives Drunk Dave Weekend Scare

Well, the whirlwind known as Drunk Dave came and went, but naturally, not without incident. Drunk Dave, Mike Boyers and myself went to Coach's to watch the NFL Draft. The Steelers had a great draft and an even better first round trade landed us Santonio Holmes, the best WR in the draft.

It was all smooth sailing from there, until Drunk Dave started doing shots. He was constantly bitching about the Columbus smoking ban and had to go out to the smoker's porch. While there, he got into numerous spats with guys 10+ years younger than him. In the end, Mike and I had to get him outta there and he was almost jumped by 5 guys staring him down as he stumbled across the parking lot. We finished the draft at BW3 and then went home. Drunk Dave 'blacked out' at this point and naturally remembers nothing. His famous motto of "If you don't remember, it didn't happen" comes into play here. He was loud, obnoxious, foul and a little destructive at my house, but Amy (his girlfriend) and myself refused to go out with him. So, he drank all my beer and eventually passed out around 4 a.m. And this ends another story in the 37-year-old life of Drunk Dave.

Break it on Down!

Softball starts Tuesday and we have practice tonight. Boy am I out of shape. Thank God I am a gifted hitter. :-)

Drunk Dave countdown = 1 day.
Breadline countdown = 41 work days.

Drunk Dave is an old ass bitch for those who have not had the privilege of meeting him.

Is that him dancing?

At least tomorrow is pay day.

LOOK OUT: Drunk Dave Headed to Columbus

Look out Dublin, look out Columbus. The infamous Drunk Dave is headed to town.

The drunk and gal pal Amy 'Heh Heh Heh' Hentgen will be arrving late Friday night to my crib. Saturday is NFL Draft day so it will be a booze bash to remember. I am frightened already.

We, however, won't have any of "the least you could do is buy us dinner bullshit." That act was pulled before and is very tiresome. That said, I still love Drunk Dave (in a non-faggot way---per Bubba The Love Sponge) and look forward to the visit. Plus, the Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers will be getting a top player to further their charge.

YES!!!!!

Meet the Beetlejuice Family

OK, you gotta love the Stern Fan Network. Great web site for diehard Howard Stern fans like myself. (my handle is TubeBar)

Where else could you find a link to such a wonderful video in which you meet Beet's mother and sister Erika?

Everyone loves Beetlejuice. His official Web site can be found here.

Again, here is the video.

Finally: Cindy Margolis MILF Exposed

Some have said she's too old, BS I say. I look forward to seeing even more of her beauty. She's had three kids for God's sake. You go girl.

From AP article
Cindy Margolis, known as the "Most Downloaded Woman" on the Internet, is following up her win on "Celebrity Cooking Showdown" with a career first — posing nude for Playboy.The mother of three told The Associated Press that she finally agreed to pose for the magazine when they called on her 40th birthday.

Now That's a Buckeye I Like

Finally, after almost two years, I met a Buckeyes fan in Columbus that I like. And I mean really like. You gotta check out this video. This chick is smokin'. Now I need to go downtown and find her.

Here is the link again to make sure you FOUND IT.

The Salt Mine Saga Continues

The countdown is ticking and the salt is still being pounded by the grunts here at work. We have 46 days til we hit the breadline. I'm pretty bored, but am still doing my job and all that is required. That said, I'm glad the end is near. A fresh start is always good. After all, nobody likes pounding salt in a deadend job. Where the hell is Drunk Dave? Probably getting all boozed up. The lush says he's coming for a visit on NFL Draft weekend, but I won't hold my breath. Plus, it's expensive when he comes as my paying the tab is the "least I can do."

We Brought Home a Winner!

Went to the Pirates vs. Cubs game Saturday night and saw a solid performance. Yes, the shitful Pirates pitching (Zach Duke) finally stepped up in a 2-1 win. My brother (Khris, pictured left) and sister-in-law Stephanie joined me, as well as my friend Frank and a bunch of Khris's buddies. His pal Doug, aka Smashmouth, has more pics posted on his blog. Click on the April 17 entry. After the game, we got torn apart at the Polish Club and I slept til 1 p.m. Got up for an hour and had to nap as someone got too busted up. Sad. Well, I'm on the wagon...for now.

Home Opener Hell

Another year, another game, another shitty loss. The campaign 'We Will' basically is a real joke. We will lose again and again. It was a nice day, 66 degrees and I had a good time for the most part, but I can't stand this crap any more. This team is an utter embarassment.

My favorite quote came from Michael Keaton, who threw out the first pitch.

"I fear they will take advantage of the good will of the people who continue to show up," Keaton said of the Pirates. "For my money, that's disrespectful. At some point, you either have to write the check or do something and not assume, well, we're OK and, ultimately, the franchise is valuable, anyway, like Donald Sterling did with the Los Angeles Clippers."

I couldn't agree more. You go Batman!

Grizzly Sounds Off, 'Will You Sit on my Pizza?'

Enjoyed some Golden Tee Live the other day at J Linsey's with Beaker and LT and was treated to the rants of bar regular Bobby aka 'Bob Dylan' or 'Grizzly.' He's actually a very nice guy, but had a few in him as he pathetically hit on a pizza delivery girl. The young lady was asked to sit on his pizza on the next delivery and informed that marriage was like apples, as you never know when you might get a bad one.

Good times at an otherwise filthy place.

Just Poundin' Salt, Off to Charlotte

63 work days til the breadline and counting as I pound salt in my deadend job. The thanks I get for uprooting after 6 1/2 years in Charlotte to come to Columbus to work.

Thanks for everything.

Oh well, Team Koelsch will rebound just fine. Heading to Charlotte this weekend for Fat Buzza's wedding reception. The slob was married in Vegas, but is having a party for those who couldn't make it this weekend. In true Buzza style, the event doesn't take place until 3 p.m. on Sunday, as to accommodate his redneck friends from the Rock Hill trash bar The Long Branch.

Oh well. Drunk Dave will be a no show. Many other slobs will attend though so it should be fun.

March Madness: PITT Focus

What a tournament it's been. Yes, my PITT Panthers shit the bed and lost to Bradley, but they will be back. Head Coach Jamie Dixon signed a long contract extension through 2013 (which is huge) and they return 8 of 10 starters. A solid recurting class can be finalized if the Panthers can land 6-7 forward Tyler Smith.

Smith is a highly touted player out of Hargrave (Va.) Military Academy. Smith's finalists reportedly are Pitt, Memphis, Kentucky and Iowa.

Smith would join heralded recruit Gilbert Brown, a 6-foot-6 swingman from Harrisburg who played at South Kent (Ct.) Prep. Brown says he can't wait to arrive for summer sessions. He believes he can add some of the things he saw Pitt lacking in its NCAA Tournament loss to Bradley.

All that said, it's been a great tournament with some very exciting games. Props to George Mason, Wichita State and many others. Go Big East.

Golden Tee Live, J. Filthy's and Rot Gut

A little slow getting up this a.m. after an after-work get together at Columbus dive and cigarette pit J. Linsey's. It's actually a cool place, but the smoke sucks, even though it's illegal.

Oh well, the Bud Light was cold and fresh, made March 13. A definite advantage of living in Columbus, home to an Anheuser-Busch brewery, which I still haven't toured.

Played some Golden Tee Live, which is a money-making slut, but it's fun. Then mauled Chinese with LT, who developed rot gut and was close to shitting his pants.

Snow a Sham and a Virus Scam

Well, our 4-6 inches of forecasted snow turned into a scattered dusting, if you want to call it that. The first day of Spring in Dublin was chilly, but otherwise very uneventful. My laptop got a nasty virus last night and it is being worked on by our tech guys. They do a great job so hopefully, I'll have it back tonight. No idea how I got it or where it came from, but it was not good.

Looking forward to the NCAA tourney this weekend. Have tickets to the Blue Jackets game Friday night so that should be fun too. Hoops afterward.

68 days til the breadline for those keeping track.

Snow in Ohio and 24

Supposed to get 3-5 inches between tonight and Tuesday a.m. here in Dublin, Oh. Able to work at home if need be so that's good. I've got all I need so let it snow.

As for tonight, my favorite TV show, 24, is on. Elisha Cuthbert is back as Kim Bauer, daughter of super CTU agent Jack Bauer aka Kiefer Sutherland. She is so hot.

They have her dating some fag shrink on the show now. She needs to lose the douche real fast.

St. Patty's Day Massacre

Wow. I've been at it for three straight days and Saturday was recovery day. Hoops all day long. St. Patty's Day was a blast, but way too long.

I need to detox myself for a few days, but this March Madness stuff isn't helping.

PITT takes on Bradley in a bit for a berth in the Sweet 16. I like the Panthers' chance here and feel they legitimately have a shot to end up in Indianapolis for the Final 4.

One game at a time.